So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
