Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
