just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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