And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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