It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
