so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
