Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
