the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
