I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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