turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
vagina is talking i cant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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