morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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