God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
