Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
