Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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