Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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