your room smells of hookers.
And success
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
