i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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