Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
