You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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