I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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