I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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