She is in my trunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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