Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
