I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
