Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
