You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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