it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
