we're blogging at a bar
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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