in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
are you so shy because you have an std?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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