the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
