its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
