Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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