She said her name was "party"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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