I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
