So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
