He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know her cup size but not her name....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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