i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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