Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize