i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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