She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
