Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
