I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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