i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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