I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
a search helicopter?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
