I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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