Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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