Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
