Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
