We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
