Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
