I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My cat gives me a boner
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
