Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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