I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
