I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
