i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
