i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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