were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
