Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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