I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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