The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
