Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
