I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
