yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
