Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
