Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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