remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
