Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
