I'm jealous of your bromance
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
